Kindra's Blog

I can barely stand right now.
Everything is crashing down,
And I wonder where You are.

I try to find the words to pray.
I don't always know what to say,
But You're the one that can hear my heart.

Even though I don't know what your plan is,
I know You make beauty from these ashes.

I've seen joy and I've seen pain.
And on my knees, I call Your name.
Here's my broken hallelujah.

With nothing left to hold onto,
I raise these empty hands to You.
Here's my broken hallelujah.

You know the things that have brought me here.
You know the story of every tear.
‘Cause You've been here from the very start.

Even though I don't know what your plan is,
I know You make beauty from these ashes.

I've seen joy and I've seen pain.
And on my knees, I call Your name.
Here's my broken hallelujah.

With nothing left to hold onto,
I raise these empty hands to You.
Here's my broken hallelujah.

When all is taken away, don't let my heart be changed.
Let me always sing Hallelujah
When I feel afraid, don't let my hope be erased
Let me always sing Hallelujah.
Let me always sing Hallelujah.

I will always sing
I will always sing
Here's my broken hallelujah.

Girls, or the female gender in general, are incredible multitaskers.  Or so they say.  If that truly is the case, I must be the exception that proved the role.  It's a known thing in my family that I cannot multitask well.  If I'm on the phone and someone else tries to ask me a question, I am no longer able to listen to either the person on the phone or the person in front of me.  Yes, I can wash a wall and carry on a conversation at the same time, but even that small distraction can affect my work.  I grow noticeably slower and will invariably miss some spots unless I halt the conversation long enough to look back over my work.  When I give a patient a shot or something that requires me to go chart it, but I need to take another patient's vitals first, my brain switches tracks and has a very difficult time remembering the shot that I was supposed to chart.  And if I get too ambitious and try to do many things at once....let's just say that things usually don't go very well.

I've learned little ways to combat this shortcoming in my life, though.  When I need to remember to chart something, I now make a note to myself with the information that I need to remember on it.  And put in my pocket.  Then I pray that I don't forget that it's there. :o) I've learned that sometimes I simply need to ask people to wait a minute while I finish what I had previously started.  I've learned to recognize that I can't do as many things at once as some people, but that I can still do what I can do well.  (I can almost hear Buddy Davis breaking out in song when I say that :o) )

I also decided today to learn to juggle. :o) In some sort of defiant proof to myself that I can at least teach myself to do that much multitasking, I practiced with potatoes for a few hours this afternoon.  I think I may actually be sore tomorrow from bending over to pick up dropped potatoes so many times, and my face may be bruised as well- I'm not very good at throwing the potatoes UP and not over my shoulder, into the attic, or straight at my forehead.  But I made progress.  And I am determined to become a real juggler.  And who knows, maybe someday I'll be able to mouth to Mom where I put the groceries while simultaneously listening to my sister tell me about her day over the phone.  A girl can dream, can't she? :o)

I finally got to unpack my bags last night.  When I first arrived down here, Ro was visiting back in the States, and I was sharing her room with Janell since Janette and her sister were staying in Janell's room.  I originally was going to move with Janell back into her room when Janette and her family left, but then ended up just staying with Ro when she came back, with the thought that I would be moving to some undecided-as-of-then room that would be figured out when Whit's sister Kylie left for home.  With all that said, I had never really unpacked since I've believed most of my time here that I was going to move in a couple weeks.  BUT.  We decided the other day that we're going to try to get some bunk beds built for Ro's room in the next couple weeks, and that I'm just going to stay in there.  So I gleefully unpacked yesterday evening, and made some rather surprising discoveries that I had already forgotten that I brought down.  Finally getting to have my own drawer and shelf is quite pleasing and good for my heart.

Well, we are trying to listen to Ephrata Bible School's program as I speak (write)....so if I really want to pay attention and try to hear my little sisters singing I should get off of my little device.

Have a delicious week, and God bless each on of y'all as you serve Him in whatever corner of the world He has you.

This Friday will mark four weeks since I arrived back on Haitian soil.  It feels like forever and yet as though I was just leaving home a few days ago...time is an illusive thing anywhere, but seems even more so here.