Kindra's Blog

"...yet will I trust in Him." 

-Job

I grew up in a conservative Christian home, smack in the bible belt.  These are not unfamiliar words to me.  Yet they somehow seem to strike me anew each time I hear them. 

"Though he slay me"

Though he allow someone to murder me while I'm sleeping in my bed.  Though he allow me contract AIDS through my work here.  Though he allow me to be burnt at the stake for my faith.

"Yet will I trust in Him."

To trust my Savior - trust that He's ultimately working for my good - in the midst of a raging disease or ravaging fire would be difficult.  Especially if I was facing the council that Job faced from his friends and even his wife. 

But I still believe that trusting him for my personal life must be miles easier than trusting him with the lives of those around me.

Though he slay those whom I love most.

Can I still say that, withholding nothing?

Though my little niece fights meningitis in another country, thousands of miles from me.  Though I watch cancer wreak havoc on my mother's health.  Though my grandmother is rushed to the emergency room, yet again, and I'm left helplessly unable to do anything to help.

Though the patient that I've poured my everything into doesn't make it.  Though my friend that has been fighting an illness for months finally gives in to that illness. 

Through it all.  Can I lean on God's unfailing strength and never question why we need to face pain here on earth?  I can't yet say that I've attained this absolutely, but I can say with every fiber of my being that it is one of my highest goals. 

He is worthy.  His arms are strong enough to hold me through the wildest storm.  And He knows.  He knows what's happening in my life right now, what's ahead, and what's behind me.  And, if I can trust him enough to turn loose of a pen that's far too big for me anyway, he is fully capable of composing a far more beautiful song with my life than I ever dreamed possible.  A melody that points people to Christ.

So I'm letting go.  And I'm gonna stand back in awe as my heavenly Father takes full control of the pen.

Because I've seen the masterpieces He's created out of the lives of those fully surrendered to Him. 

And I can't wait to see where He takes me.

-Kindra